Funny Jokes

Today is my daughter's 18th birthday... - Read on..
I'm so glad that this is my last child support payment. Month after month, year after year, those payments! So I called my baby girl, K..

Underwear is Important! - Read on..
Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under you vehicle... From the NORTHWEST FLORIDA Daily News comes this st..

Top 10 Reasons Why Hurricane Season is Like Christmas - Read on..
Top Ten Reasons Hurricane Season is Like Christmas 10. Decorating the house (boarding up windows) 9. Dragging out boxes that haven't be..

How to Get A Good Night Sleep - Read on..
By the time Dave pulled into the small town every hotel room was taken. He finally pulled up to the very last hotel and went into the o..

Welfare - Read on..
A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi . . You know, I just HATE drawing welfare I..

Do you like my new jacket? - Read on..
Do you like my new jacket?It's great. Shame your body doesn't suit it, though...

never forget a face - Read on..
I never forget a face!But in your case I'll make an exception!..

face like a million dollars - Read on..
You've a face like a million dollars.All green and wrinkled!..

trip from beauty parlor - Read on..
I've just come back from the beauty parlor!What a pity it was closed!..

pretty little head - Read on..
She has a pretty little head-- for a head, it's pretty little...

yesterday's coffee - Read on..
She's like yesterday's coffee -- a little weak in the bean...

own mind - Read on..
He says he has a mind of his own. He's welcome to it-- who else would want it?..

bone specialist - Read on..
He should study to be a bone specialist -- he has the head for it...

his mind - Read on..
He has one of those mighty minds -- mighty empty. He has a one-track mind, and the traffic on it is very light..

insults part 1 - Read on..
He has a one-track mind, and the traffic on it is very light. He paid $500 to have his family tree searched, and found out he was the s..

insults part 2 - Read on..
He's so dumb, he thinks the Kentucky Derby is a hat. He's never slept with his wife. He says it isn't honorable to sleep with a married..

Fireplace - Read on..
You're so poor that when I went to your house I stepped on a match and your mom said, "Oh! who turned off the fireplace"!!!..

family vehicle - Read on..
your family is so poor.......... the family vehicle is a skateboard...

What's that thing on your Neck? - Read on..
Oh my God!!! What's that big ugly thing on your neck?! Oh, it's just your head...

Whoa! Shut your mouth!!! - Read on..
Your breath is so bad that when you talk your teeth duck...

you are so stupid... - Read on..
You are so stupid that you flunked special-ed..

Moving - Read on..
I saw a garbage truck driving yesterday. You never told me you were moving...

Your Family Is So Poor - Read on..
Your family is so poor, when I went to your house I stepped on a cigarette and your Daddy shouted, “Hey, who turned off the heater!”..

Your Dad's Like Cement - Read on..
You dad's like cement, it takes him two days to get hard!..

Knock, Knock... George Washington - Read on..
Knock, knock! Who's there? George Washington! George Washington who? George Washington who? Didn't you learn anything in history class?..

Yo Family Is So Poor... - Read on..
Yo family is so poor that when I went inside your house I accidentally stepped on a roachand your whole family came out singing, "Clap ..

You're so stupid... Police - Read on..
You're so stupid that when police tell you that you broke the speed limit, you offer to fix it...

grammar correction - Read on..
A girl from Oklahoma and a girl from Wisconsin were seated side by side on a plane.The girl from Oklahoma, being friendly and all said,..