Irish Jokes

Irish Stupidity? - Read on..
A Texan rancher comes to Ireland and meets an Irish farmer. The Texan says : "Takes me a whole god damn day to drive from one sid ..

Brains of the Irish - Read on..
An Irishman, Englishman and a Scottishman are caught in Saudi Arabia drinking. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then dep ..

Olypmic Challenge - Read on..
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the summer Olympics but hoped to be able t ..

St. Patrick Abuse - Read on..
An Irish man is sittin in a pub one night when 3 Englishmen walk in. The men sit down, and start to talk about how they can really get ..

Once an Irishman, Always an Irishman - Read on..
An Irishman and an American were sitting in the bar at Dublin Airport. "I've come to meet my brother," said the Irishman. "H ..

Drunken Irish - Read on..
An Irishman called Paddy was drinking at the pub all night. It was pretty late and the bartender came up to him to tell him that t ..

Three brothers - Read on..
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one ..

Patrolling - Read on..
A Sergeant and a Private were patrolling the streets in a Irish town near the Northern Irish border. There was a 9.00 PM curfew in plac ..

Kindness of Strangers - Read on..
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. ..

The Best Beer - Read on..
After the Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer at the nearby bar. The guy from ..

I want that horse - Read on..
A big Texan man is walking down the main street of at town in northern Ireland and encounters Liam standing on the pavement beside a bi ..

Prolonged Sickness - Read on..
An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a prolonged spout of sickness. The doctor, after a long examination, sighed and looke ..

Bank Robbers - Read on..
Taken from an article about a bank robbery which appeared in the Irish Times on 3rd of March 1999: Once inside the bank, shor ..

Never Ending Guiness - Read on..
One day an Irish man finds a Genie lamp and rubs it. Out comes the Genie and asks "Master you have released me from the lamp and I gra ..

Graveyard Haunt - Read on..
Patrick Flaherty came home drunk every evening toward ten. Now, his Missus was never too happy about it, either. So one night she hides ..

Irish Cracks - Read on..
What are the best ten years of an Irishman's life? Third grade. How do you sink an Irish submarine? Knock on the h ..

Short jokes - Read on..
Q. What is Irish diplomacy? A. It's the ability to tell a man to go to hell - So that he will look forward to making the trip. ..

Irish Wives - Read on..
His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan. "Did she say anything before she died?" aske ..

Pig at the Bar - Read on..
A young gentleman was sitting at a bar with his pet pig asks for a two drinks. The confused bartender said no animals were allowed up a ..

Sea of Guiness - Read on..
Lost at Sea, two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning fishing boat. While ..

An Irishmans Guiness - Read on..
One day an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walked into a the local pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as th ..

Irish Digs - Read on..
Why do Irish women have black tits? They don't take their bras off before they burn them. Did you hear about the Irish rap ..

Irish Workers - Read on..
One day a passerby watched in bemusement as two Irishmen were working in a park. One was digging holes and the other was filling them ..

Not too bright - Read on..
An American tourist was boasting to an Irishman about how advanced the Americans are. "Well gee, we've put a man on the moon." "That's ..

Irish Shopping - Read on..
"So, have you figured what to buy yer Missus for Christmas?" asked Patrick. "I, sure have, she pick ..

Divorcing an Irishman - Read on..
"Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce?" the lawyer questioned his client. "Tell me about it. Do you have a pa ..

Beer on my grave - Read on..
Two old Irishmen were sitting at the local pub drinking a few beers and discussing the afterlife. So, Thomas O� ..