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You might be too drunk if..

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

Your job doesnt interfere with your drinking.

Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alchohol stream.

You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

You sincerely believe alchohol is the elusive 5th food group.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence? I think not!

Two hands and just one mouth. - now THAT'S a drinking problem!

You can focus better with one eye closed.

The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

You fall off the floor.

Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.

5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, forget dinner!

Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.

Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

At AA meetings you begin: 'Hi my name is.. uh..'

You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed.

The whole bar says 'Hey mate' when you come in..

You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alchohol, and [Women or Men].

Every night you're beginning to find your room mate's cat more and more attractive.

You don't recognize your wife unless seen through bottom of glass.

That damned pink elephant followed me home again.

The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.

Joke Added: October 13, 2005, 8:05 am    Joke Rating: 3.87 / 5

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