End of a Dream
Funny Fat One LinersYou know you need to do something about your weight when you board an airplane and the flight attendant designates your belly as carry-on luggage. I knew I had a problem when I started having to wear control-top turtlenecks.
My doctor put me on a strict sugar-free diet. I can't even watch Touched By An Angel.
You know it's time to skip a round when you're holding your bowling ball, and you look down and you can't see it!
If God had wanted us to run, instead of a belly button, He'd have given us a fast-forward button.
I'm no couch potato. I'm a lazyboy potato.
My diet's working. I stepped on my talking bathroom scales last night and for the first time ever they didn't scream that I was too fat. They did mention in passing that my feet smelled.
I'm not fat. It's just that my body naturally retains beef burgers.
I have no idea how much I weigh because I can't weigh naked. Without my glasses I can't see the scale.
I've really put on weight. I've gone from pinch-an-inch to rub-a-tub.
I'm already two years ahead on my daily fat allowance. I'm looking for skinny people to see if I can borrow theirs.
Joke Added: September 15, 2005, 8:23 pm Joke Rating: 1.90 / 5
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